Never Say Never

Over the past couple weeks, Penelope has developed two (naturally it couldn't have come one at a time) new behaviors, tantrums, and whining. I thank God for my three years subscriptions to Parent's magazine who has given me unlimited amounts of tools and knowledge to deal with these behaviors. But I must be honest, I really thought Penelope would skip these habits. Who was I kidding?

As a baby, Penelope was the easiest infant. Easy going, flexible, uncomplicated, slept anywhere, and if she skipped a nap, you never knew! I truly had it made in the shade. Scarlett on the other hand, now this girl loves to give me my run for the money! She lives by the philosophy of her way or the highway. If the saying holds true that a difficult infant is an easy toddler, then my toddler Scarlett is going to be pre-tty effortless!

As Penelope's second birthday approached last year, everyone told me to LOOK OUT! Terrible two's were heading my way. But as the months passed and the terrible twos never reared their ugly head, I thought I had made it out of the woods, especially since her third birthday was fast approaching. Then I made the single mistake that no parent should EVER DO! I uttered the word 'never.'

During a play date, I was making small talk with another mommy. We got on the topic of our children's behaviors. I told her that Penelope never whined nor did she throw tantrums. Then two days later, as if Penelope had HEARD me voice those words, she threw an "I"ll show you I don't throw tantrums!" fit right in the middle of the living room. A full blown fit, throwing herself on the floor, going no bones and whaling "daddy!". I don't recall what her fit was over, but right then and there, I realized I needed a big 'ol scoop of potatoes to eat with those words I had just said two days prior.

I just received my March's Parents magazine and what do you know? An article on how to deal with four discipline problems, and tantrums and whining were two of the four! I thanked the Lord for knowing just what this mommy needed, guidance!

The article told me that these two lovely behaviors typically occur when my little one is tired, hungry or sick. These times seem to be when she goes all out for me, especially right before nap time and right before bed time.

The other morning she woke up at six instead of seven, which made her tired from the get go.She walked me to the pantry to request candy for breakfast. I told her that she wasn't going to have candy for breakfast. The jumping began and then the flailing hands started.

Then I pulled out my empowerment tool that I had read from my magazine and waved my magic wand. "Penelope, you can not have candy for breakfast. You may have a pop tart (that has just as much sugar as that pixie sitck!) or you may have a waffle. Which one would you like?"

Giving her options and allowing her to ultimately make the choice made her feel like she was calling the shots and give her the control. She chose the waffle and then just like that, she was over it. The throw down tantrum was deflected. I've continued to use this "I give you two choices and then you make the final decision" tool and more times than not, it works pretty good!

I can't forget that Penelope is a child and she's still learning how to be more independent and at the same time, cope with her frustration and irritation. I'm a 29 year old woman who has an extensive vocabulary and can clearly articulate how I'm feeling at any moment, but I still throw "adult" tantrums when I'm tired, don't feel well, or I'm irritated. I must have grace for my daughter who is still trying to learn how to deal with all her emotions, and if this is one of the many hurdles we have to get through together, so be it.

If I've learned anything from being a mommy, it's that motherhood comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly. I've often heard that if you think the two's are hard, just wait until the threes. Well, the three's are just around the corner, and Scarlett will be one before I know it! So for now, I'll sit back and wait patiently, as both my girls grow before my eyes and enjoy them just as they are, perfect and flawless in their mommy's eyes.